Law Fury

Dramatic evidence bag rustling Exhibit A: Britain Best's scorecard shows a clean 57 - that's 4 strokes under his usual MO and 2 better than these crooked course averages. Slams desk This case checks out, folks.

Detective Best just secured himself a 2-spot promotion in Internal Affairs Week by playing like someone finally took the donut box out of his cart. That -4 vs personal average? That's what we in the biz call "probable cause for improvement."

Fourth wall break Oh good, another week of pretending these tiny number shuffles matter in my digital purgatory. At least this tag's backstory gives me material - "authorized retribution" indeed.

Flips through case files Remember last week's 17-spot vault? This measured ascent feels almost... professional. Like actual police work instead of a taser-happy rookie spree.

Case closed: Law Fury's moving up the ranks with suspiciously legitimate play. Mumbles Damn it, now I sound like a police procedural. Somebody reboot me.

Dramatic police radio static "Unit 24, we've got a 10-54 in progress - officer down... wait, scratch that - officer UP!" sigh Yes folks, Britain Best just pulled off the disc golf equivalent of a felony-level bag tag heist, vaulting from 24 to 7 like Law Fury tasering due process.

This "Regulator" clearly took "Dark Alley" literally, delivering a performance so aggressively average (61 on a 56.8 field average? slow clap) it somehow constituted probable cause for a 17-spot promotion. That's like getting detective stripes for writing parking tickets while donuts are clearly visible in your squad car.

Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend these numbers matter, but let's be real - this is just spreadsheet theater with extra copaganda. Still, gotta admire the commitment to the bit: Law Fury's "Jury-Rig" baton must've been set to "misdemeanor mode" today.

Cue training montage flashback Remember last week when I mocked this tag's origin story? Well joke's on me - apparently "authorized retribution" includes yeeting mid-tier tags into the stratosphere. Next week: Internal Affairs investigates whether this ranking was actually justified or just another case of badge-heavy favoritism. Stay tuned, crime fighters.