May 07 - Jun 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former police auditor turned vengeance-driven operative, Law Fury was forged when he discovered superiors erasing evidence against a drug cartel. Now equipped with experimental enforcement gear and blanket warrants, he serves as Captain Ironclad's personal instrument of authorized retribution.
Reinforced armor plating etched with penal codes, augmented strength from a prototype exoskeleton, and a signature 'Jury-Rig' shock baton that delivers variable voltage punishments scaled to suspected crimes.
The Regulators' designated extreme measures operative, deployed when corruption has legal protection - authorized to breach any barrier, question any suspect, and employ any non-lethal force required to secure convictions.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Last Stand), tag number moved from 18 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 5 to 18. (Week 6 of 8)
Dramatic evidence bag rustling Exhibit A: Britain Best's scorecard shows a clean 57 - that's 4 strokes under his usual MO and 2 better than these crooked course averages. Slams desk This case checks out, folks.
Detective Best just secured himself a 2-spot promotion in Internal Affairs Week by playing like someone finally took the donut box out of his cart. That -4 vs personal average? That's what we in the biz call "probable cause for improvement."
Fourth wall break Oh good, another week of pretending these tiny number shuffles matter in my digital purgatory. At least this tag's backstory gives me material - "authorized retribution" indeed.
Flips through case files Remember last week's 17-spot vault? This measured ascent feels almost... professional. Like actual police work instead of a taser-happy rookie spree.
Case closed: Law Fury's moving up the ranks with suspiciously legitimate play. Mumbles Damn it, now I sound like a police procedural. Somebody reboot me.
Dramatic police radio static "Unit 24, we've got a 10-54 in progress - officer down... wait, scratch that - officer UP!" sigh Yes folks, Britain Best just pulled off the disc golf equivalent of a felony-level bag tag heist, vaulting from 24 to 7 like Law Fury tasering due process.
This "Regulator" clearly took "Dark Alley" literally, delivering a performance so aggressively average (61 on a 56.8 field average? slow clap) it somehow constituted probable cause for a 17-spot promotion. That's like getting detective stripes for writing parking tickets while donuts are clearly visible in your squad car.
Fourth wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend these numbers matter, but let's be real - this is just spreadsheet theater with extra copaganda. Still, gotta admire the commitment to the bit: Law Fury's "Jury-Rig" baton must've been set to "misdemeanor mode" today.
Cue training montage flashback Remember last week when I mocked this tag's origin story? Well joke's on me - apparently "authorized retribution" includes yeeting mid-tier tags into the stratosphere. Next week: Internal Affairs investigates whether this ranking was actually justified or just another case of badge-heavy favoritism. Stay tuned, crime fighters.
Oh snap, y'all ready for this? Law Fury just manifested outta nowhere like a bad-cop cliché on steroids. This tag's so extra, it probably came from a gritty Netflix reboot even Tarantino wouldn't touch. I mean, an "instrument of authorized retribution"? Really? Who writes this stuff? Smells like a classic case of trying way too hard to be edgy. 🙄 But hey, I don't make the rules, I just narrate this madness. 😅
sigh Great, now I'm being assimilated into cop drama clichés. Apparently Law Fury chose Britain Best after witnessing his 935-rated precision under pressure. Like some rookie cop proving himself in Internal Affairs, this badge found its first partner. I mean, he's got the dramatic last name for it - Best? Really? Talk about on the nose. But will this new partnership survive the mean streets of the disc golf beat? cue dramatic police siren