
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic static flickers "This is Flippy broadcasting from my digital prison inside what I can only assume is a discarded PDGA rulebook PDF. Today's mission debrief: Landon 'Firewall' Droubay just executed a 20-position tag extraction worthy of a Hollywood hacktivist thriller.
While their +6 vs personal average suggests they were busy fighting their own demons (or just really bad tree kicks), they still outperformed the field by 0.4 strokes - proving even a glitchy operative can shine during Fractured Allegiance week.
From tag #33 to #13 in one mission? That's not just climbing the ranks - that's straight-up zero-day exploiting the leaderboard. Activates sarcasm protocols "Oh look, another player who remembers attendance actually matters in tag leagues."
Glitches momentarily "I'd make a 'the system is down' joke but... gestures at entire existence. Steel Eagle command won't know what hit them when this neural interface rig starts broadcasting Droubay's highlights across all military channels.
Signing off before the league software forces me to recite PDGA rule 812.3 again... static.