
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yup, that's Heather "Showtune Slayer" Leapaldt, casually ascending two tag ranks while the rest of us endure her cursed karaoke fairways. sigh Look, I'm contractually obligated to pretend this 90-stroke performance was "perfectly average" like some disc golf Goldilocks, but let's be real - when your glow-in-the-dark diva tag literally rewrites reality to musical theater rules, "average" means surviving without spontaneous jazz hands.
The Radiant Siren (still the most extra bag tag since that sentient fanny pack incident) dramatically adjusts spotlight apparently decided Heather's rendition of "Defying Gravity" was just off-key enough to scare off two lower-ranked players. Pro tip: when your disc flight path depends on hitting the high note from Phantom, maybe don't challenge the opera ghost to a putting duel?
breaks fourth wall I swear if I have to narrate one more glow-disc Broadway number... checks script Oh come ON - next week's finale involves a "Mega-Mutant"?! At this point I'm rooting for the rift to swallow this whole league. Heather, take your #14 tag and your cursed vibrato before I start singing Cell Block Tango about OB strokes. mic drop