Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from a temporal rift collision between Professor Hess's experiment and a museum's Greek antiquities exhibit, this Gorgon gained reality-warping abilities that let her petrify players who meet her gaze during nighttime rounds.
Emits a gaze that temporarily transforms organic matter into marble for 5 minutes. Sheds stone scales that create new course obstacles. Serpent hair detects movement vibrations. Weak to sustained glow disc illumination which disrupts her petrification field.
Transforms open fairways into dangerous visual puzzles, forcing players to develop innovative throwing strategies and use glow discs defensively to create safe zones.
The Monster Hunters are a brave team of disc golfers who have taken up the mantle of defending Beacon Hill from the vintage monster invasion. Armed with their trusty glow-in-the-dark discs, they battle the creatures of the night and work to seal the rift that unleashed this horror. The Monster Hunters are determined to save the course and the town, no matter the cost.
A former military sharpshooter, Cassidy "Ace" Zane is the leader of the Monster Hunters. She retired to Beacon Hill for a quiet life of disc golf, but when the monsters invaded, she knew she had to take action. Ace is known for her deadly accurate drives and steely determination in the face of supernatural horrors.
In Week 7 (Ghostly Greens), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 13 to 3. (Week 7 of 8)
🌌 Petrifying Gorgon slithered into existence when Professor Hess’s quantum espresso machine collided with a cursed Netflix true crime doc. Imagine Medusa’s angsty TikTok cousin – stone scales glitching like a Snapchat filter, serpent hair doing the Worm dance. Her gaze? Pure 5G mind-melting Wi-Fi, turning Beacon Hill’s oak trees into marble NFTs. (Yes, we’re doing Greek myths with Fortnite physics now. Roll credits.) Pro tip: Don’t make eye contact unless your glow discs are fully charged – this Karen will speak to the manager of spacetime. 💅
Next week: Why do temporal rifts smell like burnt popcorn?
In the neon-soaked chaos of Beacon Hill’s first temporal tantrum, Simon Yeates (PDGA #202248 – a celestial zip code apparently) tripped over a quantum root while fleeing the Petrifying Gorgon’s TikTok gaze. His accidental “drunken master” form? A+ content. The Gorgon’s glitchy snakes voted unanimously to crown him after he yeeted a Glow Svea that ricocheted off three oaks and Professor Hess’s espresso rig – creating the league’s first “disc-ord” in spacetime. His prize? Eternal babysitting duty for Medusa’s wifi-addled cousin.
But let’s be real: Did Simon earn this cursed Airbnb host status… or did the multiverse just putt him in the wrong place-time? 🐍☕️