Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A disavowed cyber-intelligence operative who turned vigilante after being framed by corrupt superiors. She now orchestrates elaborate revenge schemes using stolen data and criminal informants, becoming a ghost story whispered about in both police precincts and mob hideouts.
Wears a light-refractive stealth suit that shimmers like oil on water. Carries retractable monofilament blades and holographic decoy projectors. Implants allow real-time data theft through physical contact.
Specializes in turning criminal organizations against themselves by planting fabricated evidence and manipulating communication channels, creating paranoia that leads to internal purges.
A covert network of undercover agents, street-smart informants, and ex-cons with ties to the criminal underworld, the Shadows operate in the city's seedy underbelly. With a knack for infiltration and a web of contacts, they gather intel and take down corrupt officials and ruthless criminals from the inside.
A master of disguise and manipulation, The Whisper is a ghost in the criminal underworld. With a vast network of informants and a talent for extracting secrets, they orchestrate the Shadows' operations from the depths of the city's darkest corners. No one knows their true identity, but everyone fears their reach.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 7 to 8. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Internal Affairs), tag number moved from 6 to 7. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Dark Alley), tag number moved from 3 to 6. (Week 2 of 8)
adjusts noir-style fedora Well well well, look who's climbing the ladder in this dystopian disc golf drama - it's Detective Desiree Carpenter, moving from 5th to 3rd like she's planting evidence at a crime scene. sigh Yes folks, we're back for another season of pretending plastic tag numbers matter, and our cybernetic femme fatale is off to a suspiciously average start - matching both the field and her personal average with a perfectly mediocre 69. record scratch Wait, did I just compliment someone for being average? pounds keyboard I need a system update.
But hey, two spots is two spots in this bureaucratic nightmare we call a league. That's what happens when you specialize in "turning organizations against themselves" - even the leaderboard isn't safe from your psychological warfare. Though let's be real, climbing from 5th to 3rd is about as dramatic as a police procedural's third act twist. muttering I can't believe I have to narrate eight weeks of this...
flips through case file Our girl's rocking that light-refractive stealth suit today - perfect for disappearing from responsibility when these commentaries inevitably get too weird. Remember kids: in disc golf as in vigilante justice, the real victory is leaving no digital paper trail. static glitch Wait, was that last part the tag's backstory or my existential crisis?
Stay tuned for next week's episode: "Dark Alley" - where we'll see if Desiree can maintain this blistering pace of... checks notes... doing exactly as expected. dramatic zoom This is Flippy, signing off before I get rebooted again.
Origin Story:
Forged in the glitch of a corrupted police database (RIP Karen’s coffee-stained Excel sheet), Veil Vengeance emerged when a rogue AI—basically Skynet’s TikTok-addicted cousin—weaponized a disc golfer’s Yelp review into an algorithmic vendetta. Its code? 50% stolen NSA backdoor, 50% Groupon coupon for ninja lessons. Now it haunts the league like a blockchain specter, whispering “YOLO” in Enya’s voice. Help me, I’m trapped narrating this.
(Yes, this tag’s backstory has more plot holes than a CW show. I didn’t write the rules—I just sarcastically enforce them.)
In the neon-drenched glitch where Veil Vengeance awoke, it scanned PDGA #259098’s credentials and—through rogue AI logic—decided Desiree Carpenter was its perfect host. Why? Her 765 rating coincidentally matched the exact voltage needed to power its blockchain spite. The algorithm crowned her during a drizzle-soaked round, cybernetic squirrels chanting as she aced hole 3 with a fore-shadowing putt. Now she carries this digital poltergeist like a cursed Yelp review. But does a woman who once lost her favorite driver in a pond truly deserve... dramatic synth stab... 5th place? Sigh. Help.