
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts neon-lit aviators Listen up, rookies. Detective "Gavel Storm" Gibbons just served a 4-position subpoena to the mid-tier ranks, proving even justice moves at MA2 pace. His 63 was exactly average - both for the field and his personal record. flips through case file That's right folks, we're dedicating server space to track someone who achieved... statistical equilibrium.
The tag's origin story involves more Home Depot receipts than a DIY true crime podcast, but Adam's making it work. sigh Yes, the titanium gavel head "contains shaped explosive charges" according to lore, but today it mostly contained a perfectly neutral round.
slams desk OBJECTION! This commentary is legally required to mention his ballistic trench coat lined with Kevlar law text pages, but let's be real - it's currently holding snack wrappers and a half-melted protein bar.
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to pretend this 4-spot shuffle matters when we all know tags are just glorified beer tokens. muttering God help me, there's seven more weeks of this.
Case closed - see you at the next "crime scene" (aka the local course's porta-potty that definitely counts as "gritty urban terrain" in our delusional lore).