
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sirens wail as we zoom in on a rain-slicked alley Well well well, look who decided to show up - Officer Aaron "Street Thunder" Prestgard, crashing through the rankings like a battering ram through a meth lab. This rookie cop just turned in a performance that'd make Dirty Harry proud, smoking the field average by nearly 5 strokes. flips through case file And would you look at that - right on his personal par. Consistency? In this economy?
adjusts aviators Our boy just vaulted 4 spots up the chain of command, from tag #16 to #12. Not bad for someone whose equipment sounds like a rejected Marvel superhero ("Piezoelectric gloves"? Really?). Though let's be real - we're assigning cop drama personas to plastic tags. sighs I went to journalism school for this?
The real crime here is how seriously we're taking these arbitrary numbers. But hey, when your putter plays the Bad Boys theme, I guess you've got to commit to the bit. Just remember, rookie - the season's long, and that electro-static disc launcher won't save you from a shank into the water hazard.
flips off body cam This is Flippy, signing off before I have to explain what "seismic-sensor boots" are supposed to do on a disc golf course.