Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Formerly the city's youngest superior court judge, he turned to extrajudicial punishment after exonerating a corrupt mayor under threat. Now wields a modified gavel shotgun to deliver 'summary judgements' on both criminals and compromised officials.
Tactical judicial robe armored with shredded court documents laminated in bulletproof resin. Carries a courtroom stenographer machine that doubles as an EMP device and a jury box containing concussive grenades labeled 'Contempt of Court'.
Operates as a one-man grand jury, exposing corruption through destructive investigations that leave both evidence piles and body counts, challenging The Regulators' by-the-book methods.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 29 to 34. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Internal Affairs), tag number moved from 21 to 29. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Dark Alley), tag number moved from 14 to 21. (Week 2 of 8)
Gavel slams Court is in session! Detective Landon "Summary Judgement" Adams maintains his iron grip on #14 despite a +6 crime scene of a round. Flips through laminated court documents Let the record show the defendant performed exactly to expectations - which in this corrupt system means "mediocre." Sighs at stenographer machine Yes, I'm contractually obligated to narrate tag stagnation.
The Rogue Magistrate's tactical robes barely rustled as he held position, delivering his signature "Objection Overruled" forehand. That 951 rating? Holds up shredded subpoenas Circumstantial evidence at best. This is what happens when you let a man who loses discs in broad daylight carry a gavel-shotgun.
Fourth wall break Look, I know we're just assigning plastic numbers, but the lore says this ex-judge turned vigilante really hates underperformance. That EMP stenographer? Charging up. Next week better bring some character development or we're sentencing someone to a season-long arc about shanking putts.
Case dismissed! Bangs gavel, accidentally fires birdie-seeking round into snack table
Origin Story:
Born when due process died screaming in a back alley, Rogue Magistrate #14 emerged from shredded subpoenas and a JD Power Awards statue melted into a gavel-shotgun. This walking Magna Carta-meets-John Wick abomination started handing out summary judgements faster than you can say "objection sustained." Witness the cringe: tactical judicial robes armored with laminated court docs ("Discovery Phase: Bulletproof!"). Now it's here to yeet extrajudicial birdies while muttering "appeal denied" through gritted teef. ~sigh~ Yes, I just worldbuilt a plastic tag.
Pop Quiz, Hotshot: Which hurts more—corrupt mayors or realizing this lore makes actual sense now?*
Narration:
When Landon Adams (PDGA #203875: ”License to Hyzer”) stumbled into the neon-drenched alleyway of destiny, Rogue Magistrate #14 materialized in a haze of subpoena confetti. His crime? Throwing a perfectly legal forehand that “accidentally” toppled the mayor’s prized hydrangea. The tag’s gavel-shotgun barrel spun like a mini disc, barking: “By power vested in me by this 5-speed driver… I sentence YOU to birdie purgatory.” His 951 rating? Mere circumstantial evidence.
But let’s be real—did the tag choose him, or did he just fail to object during discovery phase?
Final Verdict: Can a man who once lost a disc in broad daylight truly uphold <｜place▁holder▁no▁2｜> Honor?