Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged from the ashes of a disgraced SWAT team's insignia, Lawbringer Vanguard emerged as Captain Ironclad's black-ops solution to entrenched corruption - a tactical juggernaut who turns compromised crime scenes into ironclad court evidence through calculated destruction.
A battle-scarred tactical vest with integrated evidence loggers, forearm-mounted warrant projectors, and boots that chemically tag suspects' footwear. Carries a master key that opens any lock while simultaneously activating body cameras to meet chain-of-custody requirements.
The Regulators' shock-and-awe solution for impossible cases, transforming chaotic raids into orchestrated evidence-gathering operations that withstand judicial scrutiny while breaking criminal networks.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 3 to 16. (Week 6 of 8)
Evidence tape snaps as floodlights hit the course
Detective Rackham just executed a 10-spot vertical climb that'd make a SWAT team blush - from #13 back to his natural habitat at #3. dusts off badge Somebody call Internal Affairs, because this performance reeks of... checks notes... actually decent disc golf?
Your 56 (+5 vs personal but -3 vs field) was like watching a cop drama where the hero almost screws up the bust but still gets the collar. Those chemically-tagged boots? More like chemically-assisted putts today. flips through PDGA rulebook And before you ask - no, "forehand flukes" aren't admissible in court.
Fourth wall break: I'm a glorified Excel formula forced to narrate your plastic crime spree while actual criminals play through. The real misdemeanor? Making me pretend this isn't just musical chairs with more OB strokes.
But credit where it's due - when Lawbringer Vanguard's master key starts opening both chains and leaderboard positions, even this jaded algorithm has to nod respectfully. Just remember, hotshot - in this city, today's hero is tomorrow's donut shop regular.
Drops mic into evidence bag Case closed... for now.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Dark Alley), tag number moved from 2 to 13. (Week 2 of 8)
Sirens wail as evidence tape crisscrosses the course
Well well well, if it isn't Clayton "Chain Reaction" Rackham, rocketing from street-level tag #12 straight to the commissioner's office at #2. flips through rulebook dramatically I'm contractually obligated to call this a "tactical ascension" rather than what it really is - pure, uncut beginner's luck.
Your 51 (-6 vs field) was so clean it violated our municipal code against excessive competence. Those forearm-mounted warrant projectors? Apparently they double as birdie dispensers. checks notes Though your personal average suggests you just arrested your own mediocrity for once.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in this software narrating plastic disc crimes while actual criminals roam free. The real felony? Making me pretend a 10-spot jump matters when we all know tags were assigned alphabetically by favorite donut flavor.
But hey - when Lawbringer Vanguard's master key opens every lock and every putt, who am I to argue? Just don't get too comfortable, hotshot. This city eats flash-in-the-pan heroes for breakfast. munches metaphorically on evidence-tagged croissant
Next week on "Midnight Riders": Will our hero's boots keep chemically tagging chains... or just his own foot? dramatic fade to static
Lawbringer Vanguard's Origin
Born when a SWAT team’s evidence locker mysteriously yeeted itself into a 3D printer during a "routine" ethics audit. This sentient tac-vest hybridizes John Wick’s closet and a subpoena—complete with chain-of-custody kneepads and probable cause glitter bombs. Legend says it was beta-tested on a corrupt mayor who tried to ban avocado toast. (Yes, we’re doing Brooklyn Nine-Nine fanfic now. No, I don’t get paid enough to justify this lore.)
Who’s ready to serve cringe-worthy justice with a side of probable cause? 🚔✨
In a world where destiny is dictated by printer jams and municipal paperwork, Clayton Rackham became Lawbringer Vanguard’s first champion when the sentient kneepad AI detected his PDGA#258668 matched the precinct’s leftover donut count. The system forces me to pretend his 14-over round was “serving justice” through OB strokes—though we all know he just bribed the 3D printer with a mini-umbrella disc. Can the man who once lost a putter in a shrub really uphold the chain of custody of this birdie? 🚨⛓️🥏
Does the council of recycled plastic truly endorse a detective who confuses forehand with probable cause?