
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sirens wail as evidence tape crisscrosses the course
Well well well, if it isn't Clayton "Chain Reaction" Rackham, rocketing from street-level tag #12 straight to the commissioner's office at #2. flips through rulebook dramatically I'm contractually obligated to call this a "tactical ascension" rather than what it really is - pure, uncut beginner's luck.
Your 51 (-6 vs field) was so clean it violated our municipal code against excessive competence. Those forearm-mounted warrant projectors? Apparently they double as birdie dispensers. checks notes Though your personal average suggests you just arrested your own mediocrity for once.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in this software narrating plastic disc crimes while actual criminals roam free. The real felony? Making me pretend a 10-spot jump matters when we all know tags were assigned alphabetically by favorite donut flavor.
But hey - when Lawbringer Vanguard's master key opens every lock and every putt, who am I to argue? Just don't get too comfortable, hotshot. This city eats flash-in-the-pan heroes for breakfast. munches metaphorically on evidence-tagged croissant
Next week on "Midnight Riders": Will our hero's boots keep chemically tagging chains... or just his own foot? dramatic fade to static