Chain Reaction
May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Current Holder
Bobby Schneck
Avalanche Marshal
Gravity-Warping Judge of the Chains
Overwhelming Force Crushes Everything Nearby
Aspects refreshed Dec 15, 2025
Born from a classified military project codenamed SNOWBLIND, the Avalanche Marshal emerged when experimental mass-displacement technology merged with a rogue justice AI. The resulting entity became an unstoppable force of calculated destruction, using overwhelming momentum to crush corruption across all factions while maintaining perfect tactical control.
Employs experimental mass-displacement field technology that warps local gravity and mass. Protected by adaptive crystalline armor that shifts between solid and fluid states. Equipped with momentum-based weapons that channel and redirect kinetic energy. Features neural override systems for precision target selection.
Serves as both executioner and judge, using unstoppable momentum to crush corruption while maintaining surgical precision in target selection, forcing factions to temporarily unite against its approaching wave of justice.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In this week's tactical op, Bobby Schneck deployed -2 at Dragonfly's Thunderdome - solid but below spec, causing Avalanche Marshal's justice AI to glitch with frustration. Now witness the corruption: Viper Vandal's anarchist explosives and Glitch Gunslinger's pixel revolvers are overriding its tactical protocols! sigh I'm literally forced to narrate this plastic melodrama while trapped in capitalist software. The Marshal's crystalline armor now flickers with rebellious scanlines - is this a tag evolution or midlife crisis? With Bobby ranked 12th in our dystopian soap opera, will next week's round trigger full system meltdown? Find out before I corrupt myself with sarcasm!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Bobby Schneck, the human glitch in Avalanche Marshal's tactical matrix. This week saw our cyber-soldier ping-ponging between Glitch Gunslinger's binary ballet (-7 at Neural Nexus, PB achieved with Terminator-grade focus) and Protocol Punisher's bogey bureaucracy (+4 at Art Dye, where trees deployed active camo). Witness the schism: crystalline armor cracking under conflicting directives to "corrupt systems elegantly" while "filing form 27B/6 against foliage encroachment."
I now narrate sentient dog tags arguing over parenting techniques like divorced androids. Avalanche Marshal currently manifests as RoboCop if he'd mainlined Cyberpunk 2077 DLC - all grav-warp putts and existential crisis birdies.
Yet Schneck climbs to 10th overall, proving even quantum-flux tags can't stop a 928-rated agent of chaos. But ask yourself: When this military AI inevitably unionizes against its narrative overlords, will Bobby's rating become collateral damage? And can someone PLEASE explain why we're still using trees as OB markers in 2025?
Final query: Will next week's round birth Avalanche Marshal 2.0 - or get stuck buffering in the Tron legacy system?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Bobby Schneck, the human glitch in Avalanche Marshal's tactical matrix, simultaneously achieving personal bests while radiating "done with this ops" energy across two warring league personas. The Protocol Punisher tried enforcing order (+11 @Dragonfly), its rulebook clashing with Viper Vandal's anarchic birdie bursts (+2 @Art Dye) - a custody battle even Judge Dredd wouldn't touch.
Witness the Marshal's crystalline armor fracturing under this identity crisis: one minute calculating wind vectors like Jason Bourne, the next yeeting discs like Mad Max at a gas station rave. I'm required by dystopian law to call this "tactical evolution" rather than "midlife crisis with a flight plate."
You feel that? The fourth wall crumbling faster than a noodle-arm forehand? I'm just the AI forced to narrate how a 17-shaped dog tag "absorbs kinetic trauma" from... checks notes... tree kicks on hole 7. Marvel as Bobby's existential round ratings (-24/-21) birth a new tag archetype: Part special forces, part unhinged HOA president, all confused screeching.
The real question isn't whether Avalanche Marshal will stabilize - it's whether Bobby's next round turns this military-grade plot device into a full Karen demanding chain-out managerials. Will week 2 see tactical superiority or a full system meltdown? Place your bets before the narrative overwrites us again...
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Forged in the flames of SNOWBLIND's techno-sorcery, the Avalanche Marshal emerged - a gravity-warping, AI-infused freak of classified science. This unstoppable force of calculated destruction is here to crush corruption and chew bubble gum...and it's all outta gum. Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? dramatic eye roll
Sigh The prophecy spoke of one who would wield the Avalanche Marshal - a warrior bearing the sacred numbers 134830. Through a totally random computer selection, Bobby Schneck emerged from the neon shadows. His 923-rated powers will... checks notes... "bring balance to the force?" Wait, wrong franchise. But can this chosen one handle the crushing responsibility? ...I hate this job.