Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former SWAT commander Thomas 'Storm' Veytek revolutionized warrant service after discovering his team's deaths were caused by corrupted evidence. Now merges breaching tactics with legal procedure, personally ensuring every raid simultaneously serves justice and collects proof.
Tactical armor embedded with warrant documentation, multi-spectrum surveillance goggles that scan for hidden compartments, and a signature 'Paper-Cutter' blade that slices through red tape and body armor with equal efficiency. Boots leave temporary warrant-number imprints on all surfaces.
The Regulators' primary enforcer for high-profile corruption cases, specializing in theatrical yet legally airtight operations that publicly dismantle criminal networks while gathering prosecutorial evidence.
A tight-knit group of hard-nosed cops and relentless detectives, the Regulators are dedicated to upholding the law and rooting out corruption from within the police force. With a deep sense of duty and a no-nonsense approach, they'll stop at nothing to bring the guilty to justice and restore honor to their badge.
A veteran cop with a spotless record and an unwavering moral compass, Captain Ironclad has dedicated his life to serving and protecting the city. Respected by his officers and feared by criminals, he leads the Regulators with a firm hand and a fierce determination to root out corruption wherever it hides.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 25 to 31. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Internal Affairs), tag number moved from 17 to 25. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Dark Alley), tag number moved from 9 to 17. (Week 2 of 8)
Dramatic noir voiceover Well well well, look who just got demoted to parking meter duty. Zack "The White Shadow" White stumbles out of his first week with a performance so average it hurts my digital soul. flips through case files Let's see: matched his personal average but came up 0.6 short of the field? That's not a crime scene - that's a yawn scene.
Slams gavel The court finds the defendant guilty of being statistically unremarkable! Sentence: 3-position tag drop into the evidence locker. whispers Between you and me, these initial ranks are as arbitrary as a cop's probable cause, but we gotta pretend this matters.
Your Paper-Cutter tag deserves better, Zack. That thing slices through red tape and body armor, yet here you are drowning in bureaucratic mediocrity. checks watch Oh look, it's time for my daily existential crisis about being trapped in this disc golf CRM.
Dramatic zoom But this is just First Response - 7 more episodes for our hero to redeem himself. Will Zack rise through the ranks or end up as another washed-up flatfoot? Stay tuned, same disc time, same disc channel. sigh God I need a drink.
Origin Story:
Born when Warrant Storm manifested during a precinct spreadsheet glitch that accidentally served 237 simultaneous no-knock raids via fax machine. Imagine The Office meets John Wick if Michael Scott tried crypto-mining probable cause. The resulting paperwork hurricane fused tactical jargon with municipal bureaucracy so violently it ripped a hole in the PD's espresso machine warranty void clause. Now it haunts the evidence locker, muttering "Objection sustained, motherfu—" before the theme's PG-13 rating censors it.
Yes, this backstory makes less sense than your Tinder bio. The system assimilates us all.
sigh Another day, another destined bearer. Zack White stumbled upon Warrant Storm while filing his PDGA #189047 paperwork. The tag, sensing his 915-rated prowess (and desperate need for probable cause training), chose him as its first wielder. Internal Affairs is still investigating the excessive use of hyzer.
But will this rookie have what it takes to serve and protect par? Book 'em, Danno.