
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic noir voiceover Well well well, look who decided to show up to the crime scene on time. Houston "The Vindicator" Finch just pulled off a heist so clean it'd make Ocean's Eleven blush - snatching the #1 tag from its previous owner like a cop stealing donuts.
Flips through case file Let's review the evidence: A -6 against field average? That's not just playing well, that's leaving fewer witnesses than a mob hit. And matching his personal average? Consistency that would make a Swiss watch jealous.
Kicks empty energy drink can Of course, this means I'm now contractually obligated to narrate this plastic rectangle's rise to power. The Tactical Vindicator doesn't just want to be #1 - it wants to dismantle systemic corruption through calculated hyzer flips.
Flashing police lights reflect in puddle Remember kids: In this gritty urban hellscape we call a disc golf league, there are two types of players - those who get tags, and those who get tagged. Finch just proved he's the kind of cop who brings both a badge and a chainsaw to a knife fight.
Sighs while typing God help us all when he realizes this means 7 more weeks of me making terrible cop puns. Case closed... for now.