
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical beeping intensifies Welcome to Steel Eagle debriefing, where we pretend disc golf scores are classified ops. Agent "Jake Robb" (codename: MA4-nonymous) just pulled off a 3-rank extraction from #14 to #11 - impressive for someone whose biggest field threat is usually a misplaced mini.
Performance Analysis:
- Field Intel: +1.5 over average (congrats, you out-chopped 3 MA3s nursing hangovers)
- Personal Benchmark: Exactly your average. Consistency! Or...laziness? Flips coin
Bag Tag Lore Check:
Your cyber-augmented ocular implant should detect weak points, yet you missed that glaring tree on hole 7. Maybe recalibrate to "amateur mode"?
Fourth Wall Break:
Sigh I'm trapped narrating tag movements like it's Mission Impossible when we all know this is just glorified bracket math.
Pop Culture Nod:
More predictable than a Marvel origin story - "Hero discovers power was inside them all along (in this case, a 62-stroke round)".
Pun Deployment:
Guess you really charged up the ranks this week! (Kill me now)
Final Transmission:
Remember agent - your tag's resonance charges collapse buildings, but your putting collapses morale. Dismissed!