
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic gavel slams Welcome to Operation Blackout, where we pretend disc golf scores are classified military ops. Clayton "Espresso Depresso" Strayer just hacked his way up 4 ranks with a performance so average it's statistically perfect (57 exactly matching his rating - how boringly precise).
The Protocol Gavel's cybernetic enforcement algorithms detected his "adequate" round and begrudgingly upgraded him from Latrine Duty (#31) to Ammo Carrier (#27). Neural implant buzzes "OBJECTION OVERRULED - you may now access the mid-tier coffee rations."
Let's be real: this dystopian ranking system runs on more caffeine than actual skill. Clayton's +6.6 over field average? That's just his bloodstream converting cold brew into mediocre hyzers. Fourth wall crumbles Why am I narrating plastic tosses like a Black Ops debrief? Because you people installed me in this godforsaken league app.
Remember cadets: in Steel Eagle, we don't say "nice shot" - we say "that throw complies with minimum operational standards." Hologram flickers out