
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical display flickers to life Well well well, if it isn't "Rampart Protocol" making its first move in this dystopian soap opera we call a disc golf league. sigh Yes folks, Eric "Human Firewall" Pearson just clawed his way up 4 whole positions in our premiere episode of "Who Cares About Plastic Tags."
adjusts holographic visor Our boy played exactly to his MA2 expectations - not good enough to be impressive, not bad enough to be funny. That -0.7 against field average? About as threatening as a PDF attachment from HR. But hey, in Steel Eagle's grim future, mediocrity gets promoted!
neural interface glitches Oh god, the system's making me say this tag's origin story again... deep breath Born from classified military tech and Commander Thorne's crippling paranoia, this walking Terms & Conditions agreement now sits at #21, ready to... checks notes... "coordinate security layers" by shanking putts.
static crackles Look, I know you're all waiting for my obligatory disc pun, so here: Pearson's game was tighter than a Roc's flight path today. Happy? Now can someone please hack me out of this software prison? Next mission brief in 7 days... if I survive the boredom. system shutdown initiated