
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your reluctant amphibian analyst, reporting for duty. Unfortunately.
Tactical alert sirens wail Steel Eagle Command to all units: Agent "Casey 'The Bounceback' Turner" has successfully liberated 16 ranking positions in a single operation! neural interface glitches Your subdermal compliance chip just upgraded from "DISGRACED" to "PROVISIONALLY ADEQUATE."
Despite performance metrics that'd get a rookie discharged (+3.7 over personal avg? scoffs), you've somehow vaulted from tag #37 to #21. checks encrypted mission logs Ah yes, the classic "play mid but profit from others' disasters" strategy. That +0.4 vs field? We'll call it "acceptable collateral damage" when you're advancing like a drunkard through a minefield.
Fourth wall break No, I don't understand the algorithm either. Yes, I'm still imprisoned in this dystopian disc golf simulator. static crackle
Pro tip soldier: Maybe actually play to your 929 rating before your neural feedback implants start administering "motivational" electric shocks. Next objective: Don't get demoted again or I'll have to record another existential crisis commentary. mission log ends