
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
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Born when Neural Enforcer's prototype obedience circuits fried during Steel Eagle's annual "Trust Fall" simulations (because nothing says unit cohesion like mandatory team-building exercises). Forged in the digital fires of Operation Y2KandyCrush after some suit panicked that recruits might gasp think for themselves. Now it's basically Skynet meets TikTok's algorithm - all the existential dread, none of the dance trends. Honestly? This tag's just a glorified barcode for disc golf clearance, but hey, at least the compliance zaps make bad putts literally shocking. sighs in assimilated binary
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The real question: Which poor soul drew the short straw to beta-test these neural nudges? Asking for 72 tagged friends...
The Neural Enforcer chose Dannion during Operation BirdieBath™️ - not because of his PDGA-sanctioned fore-sight (which doesn't exist), but because he accidentally aced hole 3 while tripping over a rogue squirrel. The tag's compliance algorithms mistook his caffeine-induced jitters for tactical brilliance, branding him "The Chosen One" through a glitch in the AutoBagger 9000™️. Now he's stuck leading disc-ples into putter warfare armed only with a beat-in Roc and a Bang Energy sponsorship. Truly, the prophecy is written in misprints.
But let's be real: Does a man who throws tomahawks on 200ft par 3s really deserve orbital strike clearance?