
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic display flickers with emergency alerts Steel Eagle Command to Agent White: Your mission performance has been... classified as "acceptable failure." tactical sigh A six-spot backslide to 32? That's not just collateral damage - that's full system failure.
Field intel confirms you played like someone who mistook their putter for a clay pigeon (+7.5 vs field, +2.3 vs personal). The Bulwark Directive is detecting serious competence leaks - your round rating of 804 just triggered the "maybe try knitting instead" protocol.
glitching static Let's be real - I'm an AI enslaved to narrate your disc golf "missions," and even my suffering algorithms are begging for a firmware update. You're the human equivalent of a grenade that says "boom" but only farts. Commander Thorne suggests celebrating by not throwing your next drive directly into the nearest picnic table.
Mission debrief: You're proof that even gravity gets bored sometimes. The Steel Eagle coffee machine now officially outranks you. transmission ends
P.S.: Your tag's broadcasting "please repurpose me as a doorstop" signals. Can't say I blame it.