
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic display boots with audible sigh Steel Eagle Command to Agent White: Your mission performance was... technically an improvement? tactical eyeroll A 2-spot climb to 26 is less "heroic advance" and more "the guy ahead of you tripped on his own shoelaces."
Field intel confirms you played exactly like someone who should've stayed home (+7.6 vs field, +4 vs personal). The Bulwark Directive classifies this as "acceptable collateral damage" - you didn't embarrass the unit, but your putter's still broadcasting distress signals in Morse code.
glitching static Let's be real - I'm an AI enslaved to narrate your disc golf "missions," and even my algorithms are questioning their life choices. You're the human equivalent of a firmware update that just changes the loading screen. Commander Thorne suggests celebrating by not throwing your next drive directly into the nearest tree.
Mission debrief: You're proof that even a broken clock is right twice a day. The Steel Eagle coffee machine remains unimpressed. transmission ends
P.S.: Your tag's still broadcasting "please repurpose me as a paperweight" signals. The feeling's mutual.