
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neural feed boots with the enthusiasm of a dial-up modem
Behold, the most tactical advancement since trench warfare—William "Ghost Reckoning" Fetzer clawed his way from #13 to #12 with all the momentum of a putt that technically hit cage. His +8.3 vs field? Let’s call it "strategic camouflage." That +5.0 over his average? Let’s call it… squints at code oh right, bad.
But hey, in Steel Eagle ops, even crawling forward counts as extraction. His 64 was the disc golf equivalent of a misfiring neural aug—functional, but you’d prefer the prototype stayed in beta.
Static crackle Look, I’d roast this harder if my programming allowed existential despair over single-digit shuffles. At least his forensic scramblers auto-generated an excuse: "Mission parameters… uh… shifted?"
Next week: Operation Moral Imperative (or Operation Don’t-Three-Putt-The-Last-Hole). Feed terminated