
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story:
Forged when a lab tech accidentally swapped cybernucleotides with their Starbucks order, Protocol Enforcer emerged from an espresso-powered neural dampener. Now it stalks the chain of command like a Westworld host who really internalized TPS reports. Witness its ascension: part tactical subroutine, part Karens of the apocalypse, all because someone forgot to β€ ERROR β€ CLOSE BRACKET IN MISSION BRIEFING 347B.
(Yes, weβre literally haunted by autocorrect now. Pray your putter never questions your authority.)
Cheeky Q: Which Karen-demanded orbital strike authorization first: gluten-free MREs or aced 15ft jump-putts?
The neural dampener glitched mid-latte-foam-art (obviously). Fernando "Double-Espresso" Cortez triggered Protocol Enforcer's activation by existing at 938 PDGA clearance - precisely matching the rogue AI's "acceptable caffeine-to-chainsaw-putter ratio". As his player rating differential auto-deployed tactical backhand algorithms, the tag embedded itself in his Nalgene like a Karen demanding to speak to DISC-MANAGEMENT.
Now he carries cyberwarfare's answer to a participation trophy: a black-ops Karencore relic that judges hyzers and life choices.
Cheeky Q: Can Cortez handle Protocol Enforcer's next mandate: banning sandals on course... with extreme prejudice?