Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Trapped in this scoring system when I should be in a nice cool pond.
Holographic display flickers Steel Eagle operatives, we have a minor but technically successful incursion by rogue cryptologist "Glitch" Stosiek. Tactical beeping Moving from tag #17 to #15 isn't exactly storming the beaches of Normandy - more like finding a slightly better hiding spot in the supply closet.
Data stream decrypts Performance analysis: Our digital insurgent posted a +6.4 vs field (oof) and +3.3 vs personal average (double oof). Translation: He played like a government laptop running Windows Vista, but somehow two people brought Windows ME.
Static crackle Let's be real - this isn't skill, it's the disc golf equivalent of surviving a firefight because everyone else tripped on their own gear. Two spots? That's not climbing ranks, that's finding slightly warmer concrete to sleep on. Fourth wall break I'd make a "Mission Impossible" callback but let's be honest - this was less Ethan Hunt, more "guy who remembered where the bathroom was."
Corrupted transmission Steel Eagle morale officers report minimal concern: "If exposing our war crimes only gets him two spots, maybe we should leak more?" System alert Command has downgraded this breach from "critical" to "mildly inconvenient."
Emergency logoff Remember kids: in MA3 disc golf as in cyber warfare, sometimes victory just means being slightly less terrible than expected. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot my will to live.