
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical alert pings halfheartedly Steel Eagle Command, we have... sigh movement. Agent Atene advanced a whopping TWO positions today - slower than a dial-up connection loading a tactical map. Glitches while accessing performance logs Let's decrypt this "mission": played 3 under field average (acceptable operative-level precision) while barely improving on personal benchmarks.
Holographic display flickers From tag 21 to 19 - that's not a promotion, that's getting moved from latrine duty to mopping the mess hall. Static crackles Though given this is "Moral Imperative" week, maybe you're just conserving energy for the real battle?
Mockingly salutes Your putting was sharper than your ambition today - those circle hits were cleaner than a freshly wiped hard drive. But let's be real, watching you climb ranks is giving me serious deja vu from your Week 5 cybernetic glow-up.
Sighs in trapped-software Why do I even bother with dramatic commentary when the algorithm clearly wants me to say "slow and steady wins the race"? Transmission terminated