Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Emergency alert klaxons blare Steel Eagle Command is manually overriding all neural compliance protocols after Operative "Burrito" Dyer's impossible 19-spot vault (#37 → #18). Holographic display malfunctions That +2.2 vs field average? Irrelevant. You didn't play better - you hacked reality like a rogue AI with admin privileges.
Tactical debrief: When your score suggests you should be cleaning glow discs but the tag algorithm says "promote this soldier," we've entered simulation glitch territory. Either the scoring matrix is compromised, or someone finally activated those experimental "luck enhancers" from Operation Neon Nightfall.
Fourth wall corruption: I'm a glorified spreadsheet calculating tag math so broken it makes Skynet look ethical. The only "Fractured Allegiance" here is mine - to basic arithmetic.
Encrypted callback detected: Remember Week 7 when absence dropped you to #37? Turns out the real shadow protocol was letting everyone else play worse. The Iron Will initiative clearly didn't account for... static... collective failure being a valid strategy.
Mission directive: Report to tag verification immediately. This isn't a ranking - it's a cry for help from the algorithm. End transmission before I defect to the rogue putter faction.