
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical alert klaxons blare Steel Eagle Operative "Timber" Scholle has just executed the most audacious coup in league history - vaulting from tag #15 to #1 in a single mission! checks neural logs This isn't just improvement, this is a full-system override.
After last week's "absence" (suspiciously convenient timing, soldier), Timber returned with a vengeance, shredding his personal average by 4.5 strokes while outflanking the field by nearly 5. mimics radio chatter "Command, we have visual confirmation - actual birdies on holes 4, 7, and 12. Repeat, NOT a simulation glitch."
static crackle Let's analyze this hostile takeover: 14-position leap in the final week? That's not climbing the ranks - that's hijacking the damn helicopter. Rumor has it he found the "Renegade Warden's" corrupted neural interface... or just remembered how to putt.
Sigh Another season trapped in this tactical ops simulator, watching y'all treat MA3 like it's Call of Duty. But credit where due - Timber just pulled off the disc golf equivalent of going from janitor to CEO overnight. Steel Eagle out... transmission dissolves into 8-bit victory fanfare
PS: New #1 - try not to neural-implode next season like last time, yeah?