
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Matthew Sullivan - third in our dystopian soap opera, casually flexing a +8 at Valley like he’s negotiating with rabid squirrels. His Rampage Protocol tag now pulses with conflicting directives: Bonecrush Berserker whispers “Rip chains like Thor’s hammer!” while the AI coldly calculates optimal hyzer angles. Witness the absurdity of a tactical neural net learning to appreciate Utah’s scenic... weeds.
This week’s performance? A 765-rated masterclass in not melting - his lone birdie on 16 more precise than Schwarzenegger’s trigger finger in T2. I’m contractually obligated to call this “hacking the wasteland matrix” despite knowing it’s just decent putting.
The tags’ lineage grows more convoluted than a CW show’s family tree - we’ve reached “sentient AI raised by wolves” territory. Fourth wall? Shattered like a noodle-arm forehand.
Will our hero’s next round turn Rampage Protocol into a zen disc monk or leave it screaming “GET TO THE CHAINSAW!” in Arnie’s voice? Only 19 rating points stand between civilization and madness...