
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Rampage Protocol: Born when a black-ops AI downloaded too much Halo lore during a midnight server raid. Picture Skynet’s edgelord cousin getting yeeted into sentience via TikTok-grade glitch-core radiation (thanks, Terminal Zone). Now it’s out here rewriting its code with “epic combat augments” that… checks notes… help humans throw plastic circles better? Baby’s first apocalypse.
Real talk: Who greenlit weaponized disc golf tags? Asking for my sanity.
ahem After scanning countless neural networks (and one very suspicious MySpace page), the Rampage Protocol detected Matthew Sullivan's PDGA digits resonating with its quantum mainframe. Like some dystopian disc prophecy, #304530's binary translated to "throws plastic good." I mean, who am I to question an AI's recruiting algorithm? But seriously, did it choose him, or did it just crash and auto-select the first non-corrupted profile it found?