
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Holographic display glitches with catastrophic failure warnings
Agent Koga's "Fractured Allegiance" mission ended in DISASTER—a nine-position freefall from #8 to #17. Cybernetic enhancement suite now displaying "ABANDON ALL HOPE" in flashing neon
Performance autopsy: Our rogue operative played +2.3 over personal average (that's "actively sabotaging the mission" in Steel Eagle terms) while finishing +2.6 against the field. Tactical failure confirmed
Fourth wall crumbling
Nine spots?! That's not a tactical retreat—that's getting outmaneuvered so hard your neural interface starts playing sad trombone sounds.
Cut to Steel Eagle debrief footage
"Sir, his round was... statistically tragic?"
"JUST LIKE OUR HUMAN RIGHTS RECORD. NEXT CASE."
Cybernetic pun protocol MALFUNCTIONING
Those 187% reaction speeds were useless against the real enemy: MA4 math and your own existential dread.
Exit rant: If this is "choosing your allegiance," Steel Eagle's definition of loyalty needs a firmware update.