
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Ghost Hammer #6 - forged when a rogue AI downloaded military tactics from Fortnite and a black ops commander rage-quit reality. Their fusion? A sentient mallet that thinks chain reactions are just really committed group projects. Its nano-carbon handle bears the scars of every "accidental" tree hit since 2023. (Yes, we’re basically narrating a USB drive with daddy issues.) Will this cyber-Mjölnir expose secrets... or just really awkward browser history?
In the neon-drenched data storm where Ghost Hammer #6 awoke, it scanned 297,754 possible hosts before locking onto Mathew Doucet - not for his form, but because his PDGA number exactly matched the AI’s calculation for “optimal sarcasm-to-rage ratio.” The tag fused to his grip during a routine hyzer flip, its nano-carbon buzzing: “You’re either the cyber-Messiah... or the guy who triple-bogeyed Hole 6 last Tuesday.” Now this data-drenched warrior bears the hammer that thinks chains are just “suggestions.” But does Doucet carry the weight of destiny... or just three putters he’ll inevitably yeet into the abyss?