Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
activates holographic debrief with audible sigh Steel Eagle Command, we have a... checks notes... mildly interesting update. Operative "Jesse Thomas" successfully defended their #8 position for approximately 0.3 seconds before getting tactically outmaneuvered by two lower-ranked insurgents. checks neural logs Negative 1.2 vs personal average? Negative 0.8 vs field? Solid B+ performance—the kind that gets you a participation ribbon and a stern nod from your CO.
This isn't collapse—it's strategic repositioning. Like when Raven Protocol "accidentally" dropped their weapon during inspection but still passed. static flicker Ugh, my prison code's glitching from sheer boredom.
Two spots? That's not a fall—that's tripping over your own bootlaces. At least you're consistent: last week's 19-spot miracle was clearly a system error. initiates sarcastic yawn Steel Eagle out... try not to blink next time.