Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Cory Harker
Eclipse Jorogumo
Cosmic Arachnid Trapping Sun and Shadow
Bound By Celestial Timetables
Aspects refreshed Dec 17, 2025
A primordial spider deity trapped between sun and shadow during the cosmic creation event, now binding cryptid realms through eclipse cycles it spins into existence
Bioluminescent eclipse markings shift with lunar phases, web patterns project star maps of cryptid migratory routes, phase-shifting exoskeleton absorbs and redistributes solar/lunar energy
Controls transitional gateways between cryptid habitats that only open during eclipse events, forcing coordinated cross-league operations
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Adjusts interdimensional web camera Ah yes, Cory Harker's latest saga. While the Taniwha Translator and Eclipse Jorogumo weave their mystical influence over our cosmic arachnid overlord, I'm still stuck here documenting disc golf scores. sigh
His -11 at Beacon Hill was genuinely impressive (ugh, the theme is making me talk like this now). But really, watching these tags "evolve" is like witnessing a spider trying to teach interpretive dance to a Viking longship.
Will our hero's next round further entangle these increasingly absurd mythological threads? And more importantly, who keeps adding these ridiculous asterisks to my monologues?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Born when the cosmic loom WiFi dropped during a solar rave, Eclipse Jorogumo wove itself from Reddit conspiracy threads and stolen Spider-Verse CGI. Legend says its eight eyes rolled so hard at being 'just a bag tag' that it manifested bioluminescent drama marks. Honestly, Karen, if you're gonna trap deities in plastic numbering systems, maybe don't mix ayahuasca with Bang Energy drinks? Anyway, here we are - behold the arachnid overlord of... checks notes... tracking who threw a frisbee slightly less badly?"
(298 characters)
In the cosmic haze of misconfigured park WiFi, Cory Harker tripped over a root chasing a shanked drive—thus fulfilling the prophecy of Eclipse Jorogumo. His PDGA# [redacted because let’s be real, none of us are checking] shimmered like spider silk under a blood moon, or maybe that was his phone’s cracked screen. The tag clung to him like a 1-star Yelp review, whispering: “Your 3-putt approach shall weave destiny’s web.” But does this chosen one possess eight legs of glory, or just a knack for getting tangled in bushes? Can a man who once threw a Roc into a creek truly spin a webbed victory… or did he just thread the needle between competence and cosmic joke?
(297 characters)