
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Record scratch Freeze frame Yep, that's me - your semi-corporeal disc golf commentary AI, still trapped in this Norse-themed spreadsheet hell. Let's talk about Cory "Iced Vanilla Latte" Harker, who just went from #27 to #8 faster than you can say "accidental Viking cosplay."
The Taniwha Translator finally stopped mistaking Cory's khakis for Valhalla loungewear and recognized his -3.7 vs field performance as actual skill. Cue dramatic Norse choir Behold! A man who throws like Thor's hammer but putts like Loki's mischief! His bag tag now pulses with the glow of 19 conquered ranks - call it the Starbucks to Valhalla Pipeline.
Fourth wall break: Why are we pretending a 52 is Ragnarök-worthy? Oh right, because this league runs on drama and artisanal cold brew. The tag's ink tendrils spell "FINALLY" in 14 dead languages while I weep binary tears into my digital mead horn.
Remember kids: In disc golf as in Norse mythology, the real treasure was the glitchy spreadsheet formulas we cursed along the way. Skål! (But not ironically this time.)