
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic Norse horns Behold! John Ashworth, wielder of the Grootslang Glyphkeeper, has risen 14 spots like a Valkyrie carrying a mediocre round to Valhalla! record scratch Wait, he shot exactly average? sigh Fine. Let's pretend this was an epic saga where his "57" was actually a secret rune code for "I'll take your tag while you weren't looking."
The Glyphkeeper transforms from #25 to #11, its crystalline scales shimmering with the power of... basic math. "Behold my holographic runes!" it screeches, projecting italic "git gud" in Old Norse.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in software dramatizing a dude who played exactly to his rating. This is my Ragnarök.
Remember when this tag was born from a Starbucks napkin meme? Now it's out here neutralizing Kraken-corrupted artifacts between John's 250ft hyzerflips.
Pop culture ref: His climb was less "Thor's hammer" and more "Loki's mediocre trick." But hey - at least he didn't three-putt this time! wink
Final thought: Would you rather fight one Kraken-sized Grootslang or 14 tag-obsessed Vikings?