
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Flutters pink gills* Fine, I'll explain this gravity-dependent nonsense.
Cracks knuckles like shifting tectonic plates Oh look, it's Marvin "902 Degrees of Separation" Atene, who just earthquaked his way from tag 47 to 19! The ground rumbles as the Bedrock Behemoth tag approves
This MP50 legend played exactly to the field average, which in Thunderbird Chronicles lore means he "harmonized with the storm-bringer's rhythm" or whatever. Eye roll But let's be real - jumping 28 spots is like watching The Rock lift a sedan in Fast & Furious: absurd but weirdly compelling.
Glowing quartz veins pulse Your granite-plated tag clearly decided "enough of this sedimentary lifestyle" and yeeted you upward like a perfectly timed forehand. Though with that 866 round rating, I suspect the Thunderbird took pity after seeing your "attempts" at navigating wind currents.
Fourth wall crumbles I can't believe I'm narrating tag movements like some fantasy audiobook. Next you'll tell me Marvin's Berg has a prophecy etched in its rim.
Cue callback Remember when this tag called you a "gravel farmer"? Well now it's whispering "Yippee-ki-yay, tag climber!" as you ride this seismic wave. Just don't ask about the passive-aggressive GPS... trails off ominously