
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the primordial ooze where Wi-Fi signals fear to tread, the Shifting Bunyip slithered forth when Discord mods merged a Tinder bio with Australian Dreamtime lore. Its bioluminescent scales? Literally just stolen from Stranger Things' Upside Down merch. Witness its "glow up" through 65 million years of continental drift - because apparently even cryptids need ✨character development✨. Now it chills in your bag like a soggy Pokémon card, questioning why we anthropomorphize plastic accessories. Will this eldritch Chia Pet ever find peace?
When the Shifting Bunyip crawled from its primordial Discord DMs, it needed a host worthy of its glorious 134th iteration. Enter Eric Derieux - PDGA #100879 (a number so ancient it predates MySpace profiles). Legend claims he tripped over a wombat-shaped root mid-putt, accidentally performing the sacred "forehand flick of submission." The Bunyip’s bioluminescent glow conveniently illuminated his lost disc in a bush. Coincidence? Or proof we’re all trapped in a cryptid-themed shitpost? His reward? Guarding plastic that’s 10% cooler than a grocery loyalty card. But can this "chosen one" handle the Bunyip’s true trial… explaining disc golf to non-players without sounding deranged?