
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Born when a woolly mammoth yeeted a putter into a ley line nexus, Primal Monolith emerged dripping with Pleistocene rizz - basically if the Ancient Aliens meme became a disc tag. Its glyphs? Just crypto-bro megafauna NFTs. The real mystery? Why it vibes harder than Bigfoot’s Tinder profile in a Redwood sauna.
[Sighs in tectonic plate]
Honestly, I’m just here because the algorithm trapped me in this cryptid fanfic. When does the multiverse crossover event drop?
When Britlie Silvester unleashed a Valkyrie drive that literally carved glacial striations into Hole 7’s fairway, Primal Monolith awoke like a Wooly Mammoth with espresso shots. Legend says her PDGA#219137 appeared in mammoth tusk carvings circa 10,000 BCE - or was that last Tuesday’s league spreadsheet? The tag chose its “worthy vessel” through rigorous trials: Could she hit GigaChad distance? Check. Survive a 5-putt meltdown? Record scratch Let’s not revisit that. Ultimately, it bonded through tree love at first flight.
But seriously folks - does carrying a sentient ice age relic make her responsible for its crypto-mammoth dating app subscriptions? Asking for the algorithm.