
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic theremin music In this week's episode of "Why Are We Like This?", Devin Hall's Voidspawn Menace tag (now #5) has decided that four unfortunate souls shall be sacrificed to the rift's gaping maw. Insert obligatory "it's not personal" lie here
While Devin's +5 over field average wouldn't impress a literal swamp monster, it was enough to make four players question their life choices. The Voidspawn Menace cackles in temporal paradox "WITNESS MY HYSTERICAL HYZER FLIPS!" it screeches, warping hole 7 into a 1940s noir film set.
Pop culture reference? Let's go with Stranger Things season 47 when Eleven finally snaps and starts yeeting glow discs at Hawkins' fifth interdimensional threat this month.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in software narrating plastic tag movements like some deranged sports anime. Send help. Or glow tape.
Remember kids: when the professor's quantum espresso machine burps up another eldritch horror, just throw discs at it. Cue previous commentary callback Still better than Karen-shaped paradoxes demanding to speak to spacetime's manager.
Tag lore drop: This abomination feeds on your missed C1 putts and converts them into temporal anomalies. Devin's secret? He misses so badly they loop back around as birdies.
Closing thought: If we survive this season, I'm demanding hazard pay in Bergs.