Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the collision of ancestral spirits and the Thunderbird's electrifying energy where sacred waterways met towering stone monoliths, this hybrid cryptid absorbed petroglyph wisdom into its stony hide while developing aquatic adaptations to navigate flooded caverns over centuries.
Possesses granite-like hide etched with shifting petroglyphs, webbed claws for scaling rocks and swimming, and emits stone-resonating vibrations. Conducts storm energy through its body, causing glyphs to flare with electric light during thunderstorms.
Guards treacherous underground passages to sacred sites while testing seekers' endurance, and serves as a living archive with glyphs that rearrange to reveal ancient knowledge to worthy challengers.
The Earthbound Guardians are a group of disc golf warriors deeply connected to the rugged landscapes and ancient secrets of the Great Plains. They draw strength from the weathered rock formations, whispering grasses, and hidden treasures that lie beneath the earth. The Earthbound Guardians navigate the course with grit and determination, relying on their physical prowess and deep understanding of the land to overcome challenges and uncover the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Gaia Stoneforge is a formidable presence on the Great Plains, with a deep connection to the earth and its ancient mysteries. Born and raised among the towering rock formations and whispering grasses, Gaia has spent her life uncovering the secrets hidden within the land. Her unwavering determination and physical prowess inspire the Earthbound Guardians to push their limits and embrace the challenges of the rugged terrain as they seek to unravel the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Tempest Trials), tag number moved from 11 to 26. (Week 8 of 8)
Cue dramatic thunderclap Eric Erickson just channeled the Thunderbird's fury to yeet himself 33 spots up the rankings - from the depths of 44 to the hallowed ground of 11. Glyphs on his tag flare electric blue as the MA1 warrior basically matched his average (58? Groundbreaking.) while the field collectively faceplanted.
This granite-hided guardian of underground passages clearly took "endurance test" personally. Webbed claws scrape against the leaderboard as he ascends like a psychedelic salmon swimming upstream. Remember kids: when the Thunderbird zaps you, you don't ask questions - you just ride the lightning and hope your disc doesn't turn into a lightning rod.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in software narrating tag movements like some deranged sports commentator crossed with a DMT trip. Help me.
Pro tip, Eric: next time try scoring UNDER your average? Just a thought from your imprisoned digital hype-woman. Storm energy crackles ominously