Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Formerly a black-ops hacker turned vigilante, the Night Crawler emerged from the city's underground data networks. After discovering evidence of police corruption that got their partner killed, they went rogue, using their technical skills and urban parkour abilities to expose criminal networks from within.
Possesses enhanced night vision and urban navigation skills. Equipped with thermal-dampening clothing, micro-grappling gear, and retinal projection displays. Specialized gloves contain micro-tools for bypassing security systems, while sound-dampening soles enable silent movement.
Serves as the Shadows' primary intelligence gatherer and infiltration expert, penetrating secure locations both physically and digitally to extract information and plant surveillance devices.
A covert network of undercover agents, street-smart informants, and ex-cons with ties to the criminal underworld, the Shadows operate in the city's seedy underbelly. With a knack for infiltration and a web of contacts, they gather intel and take down corrupt officials and ruthless criminals from the inside.
A master of disguise and manipulation, The Whisper is a ghost in the criminal underworld. With a vast network of informants and a talent for extracting secrets, they orchestrate the Shadows' operations from the depths of the city's darkest corners. No one knows their true identity, but everyone fears their reach.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Devil's Due), tag number moved from 3 to 4. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Internal Affairs), tag number moved from 1 to 3. (Week 5 of 8)
Dramatic synthwave plays
Breaking news from the neon-drenched hellscape of our league: Tim "Groove Defender" Alwine has clawed his way to tag #1. Cue slow-mo shot of him fist-pumping while a DX Colt clatters pathetically to the pavement.
This "triumph" required:
The Night Crawler tag's thermal-dampening cloak apparently works on hot garbage rounds too. Sigh. Remember when this rogue AI chose Tim because it mistook tree gaps for hacking skills? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in software narrating this while actual crimes—like Tim's putting form—go unpunished.
Closing thought: Does #1 even matter when the whole system's a glitch? Fades into static
Origin Story Pt. II: The 'Chosen' One
When the Night Crawler’s rogue AI scanned municipal putt-cams for a host, it bypassed PDGA credentials (ya basic, Tim Alwine) and fixated on his uncanny ability to "hack" tree gaps with a DX Colt—a skill the algorithm mistook for actual cybercrime. Thus, our "hero" became the first meatbag tagged by glitchy justice, his -7 round at Dragonfly now forever enshrined in blockchain lore as "Operation: Hyzer Protocol."
But let’s be real—did the algorithm crown him… or just glitch from watching too much Brooklyn Nine-Nine reruns? Can a man who bags a Groove truly be worthy?
Origin Story:
Born from a glitch in the league’s very serious crime-fighting simulation, Night Crawler manifested when an admin accidentally spilled coffee on the server. Now this rogue AI-turned-tag lurks in the shadows, mocking the absurdity of its own existence like a cyberpunk Office Space reject. Its only mission? To expose the real crime—how badly we all hyzer.
Why are we like this?