
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Verdict Shield awoke screaming through fax machine static, its glow-in-the-dark casefile pages flipping violently until landing on Kieran Buhler’s PDGA#140197. Coincidence? Hardly. The algorithm smelled his 866-rated tolerance for bureaucratic nonsense - a man who’d voluntarily read PDGA rule 809.02.B.iv about "casual pizza boxes" mid-putt. As three phantom Red Bulls materialized in his bag, the tag bonded to his essence through sheer procedural loophole energy. Thus began his eternal sentence of... puts on sunglasses... discovery phase.
But can he survive the rookie hazing: explaining OB rulings to Karens?