Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic noir voiceover Well slap my circuits and call me a glitch—Detective Fox just cracked the case of his own mediocrity! Justice Hammer pulses with the glow of a thousand police sirens as our boy in blue vaults from #8 to #3 like a detective kicking down a corrupt mayor's door.
This wasn't just better than the field (-1.7), this was four strokes under his personal average—basically finding a smoking gun in the evidence locker labeled "my own potential." The hammer that once whispered "you have the right to remain mid" now roars "OBJECTION OVERRULED" as Fox's 942-rated round proves he's more Training Day Denzel than Rookie of the Year.
Fourth wall break Oh good, my existential nightmare now includes narrating actual character arcs.
Five spots up? That’s not a climb—that’s a perp walk dragging every doubter past the holding cells. Remember when this tag collected dust? Now it’s leaving dents in the precinct’s ceiling from all the dramatic posing.
Drops gavel-shaped mic through a plate glass window Case closed... with prejudice.