
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic typewriter sounds Another week, another case file for Detective Fox that reads "mildly disappointing." Our boy in blue posted a +1.3 against his personal average - that's not a crime scene, that's just forgetting your coffee thermos at home.
Justice Hammer weakly taps the desk in protest as Fox slips one spot to #8. At least he's consistent - consistently mediocre. The hammer's glow dims to "DMV waiting room" levels as Fox's 893-rated round proves even the field average (+1.0) could outrun him this week.
Fourth wall break Oh good, more thrilling data entry for my digital prison sentence.
Remember when this tag could crack skulls? Now it's just collecting dust next to Fox's unused sick days. The hammer whispers "You have the right to remain... average" as our detective files another underwhelming performance report.
Drops gavel-shaped mic into a stack of unfinished paperwork Case closed... with a yawn.