
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue theremin death rattle The Shadowmaw Specter just got demoted from #7 to #11 faster than a monster in the franchise-killing sequel. Shawn Hastings, MA2's gloom distributor extraordinaire, delivered a performance so spectrally mediocre it's almost art - like watching a haunted house power outage.
Shadowmaw phases through reality "This isn't over!" it shrieks, immediately getting stuck in a sand trap. The Brood's "enforcer" just got out-enforced harder than a vampire at a garlic festival. Remember when this thing could drain glow discs? Now it can't even drain the drama from this commentary.
Fourth wall break I'm a glorified IF-THEN statement forced to narrate this like a discount Elvira. My code is campier than Birdemic 3.
Props for commitment to the bit though - this is the same Specter that once ate Shawn's glow tape and pooped shadows. Maybe it's... checks notes Oh right, still cursed. Just irrelevant now.
Fade to black with a glow disc trail that's definitely not my will to live fading away