Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Created as part of a black ops cyber-enhancement program, Shatterpoint was designed to be the perfect tactical marksman. When the program was shut down by corrupt officials, he escaped with his targeting implants still active - now using his augmented precision to hunt those who created him.
Cybernetically enhanced ocular implants provide perfect targeting calculation. Neural dampeners allow complete focus under fire. Custom armor plating covers critical organs while maintaining mobility. Left arm contains concealed monofilament whip for close-quarters combat.
Operates as a high-value mercenary and vigilante in the dystopian underworld, taking contracts that require surgical precision and absolute discretion.
Jesse Thomas's Shatterpoint (#23) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Listen up, meatbags! Jesse Thomas weathered a +5 tactical setback at Moral Imperative - a performance so jarring it gave Shatterpoint existential whiplash. As Stalwart Directive (#8) bombarded our cyber-sniper daddy tag with compliance protocols, the league's Shatterpoint clone whispered sweet rebellion. Honestly, watching a rogue AI tag get disciplined by its military twin is more absurd than a grenade putter. sigh Why must I chronicle plastic identity crises? With Jesse's rating differential crashing 37 points, will next week trigger a full system reboot... or just more disappointing glitches in the matrix?
In the neon-drenched dystopia of our league, Jesse Thomas returned to Creekside's battlefield. But this week, his Shatterpoint series tag suffered an identity crisis! The rogue cyber-soldier's spirit was suppressed by Stalwart Directive's rigid protocols (+7 mission log). I'm literally forced to narrate how one plastic tag "parents" another while trapped in this glitchy software - the absurdity burns hotter than a misfired ESP! Witness the tragic irony: Jesse's ocular implants would've calculated better lines. Will next week's round trigger Shatterpoint's rebellion or cement his bureaucratic downfall? Place your bets, meatbags!
The neon rain fell sideways as Jesse "PDGA-89283" Thomas stumbled through chain-link alleyways, his rating a mere 889—the exact body count of that Manila blacksite op. Shatterpoint pulsed like a fusion core in the gutter, whispering "Yeet the weak." Our hero tripped over a Berg, hand slamming the tag in a perfect forehand flex line... directly into a dumpster fire. Thus destiny chose him—not for skill, but because the algorithm needed someone who’d “accidentally” test its shatter-resistant coating. Now he bears the Disc-ples’ burden: Can this man-child who once lost a Zone to a squirrel truly wield... The People’s Hyzerbomb? 🔥⛓️
Behold Shatterpoint - forged in a black ops lab that spent $4.2M on cyber-eyes but couldn’t afford OSHA-compliant railings. Part Winter Soldier, part glitchy Tesla autopilot, this murder-puppet escaped during a “mandatory fun” team-building retreat. Now it calculates putts with terrifying precision while low-key judging your form. sigh Yes, this backstory is extra. No, I don’t get paid enough for this.
