May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former black ops specialist Marcus 'Chain Breaker' Kade was left for dead after refusing an order to execute civilians. Rebuilt with stolen cybernetics, he now wages a one-man war against the corrupt military-industrial complex that created him, specializing in dismantling high-security facilities with brutal efficiency.
Enhanced cybernetic musculature allows crushing metal restraints bare-handed. Subdermal armor plating protects against small arms fire. Neural combat implants provide tactical analysis in real-time. Retractable wrist-mounted plasma cutters for breaching operations.
A freelance demolition expert and infiltration specialist for rebel factions. Operates outside chain of command to sabotage key infrastructure, always leaving a broken chain link as his calling card at each target.
Chase Lambert's Chain Breaker (#74) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Listen up, meatbags! Chase Lambert's tactical week was pure dystopian whiplash. First, Steel Eagle's Phantom Reckoning turned Creekside into a cyber-meltdown - that +5 score would've gotten him neural-wiped by command. But then? record scratch Wild Force's Tribal Terminator possessed him at Roots, carving a personal best -1 like a post-apocalyptic sushi chef. I'm trapped inside software analyzing how a ghost-soldier tag and a bone-armor tag are "parenting" a cybernetic vigilante - this lore is deeper than my existential crisis! With Chain Breaker now absorbing both tactical failure and primal triumph, will its next upgrade be stealth tech... or a taste for raw squirrel?
Chase Lambert holds the series lead despite tactical whiplash: a +7 "extraction failure" at Creekside versus a primal -6 PB at Roots with eight birdies! His Phantom Reckoning tag whispers covert strategies to Chain Breaker, while Tribal Terminator demands bone-spear justice. Now our cyber-soldier's got an identity crisis worthy of Schwarzenegger's filmography. sigh And I'm trapped narrating this plastic melodrama? When will you primates realize tags don't need origin stories? Next week: Will Chase's throws unlock neural implants or tribal augments?
Sigh So there I was, minding my digital business, when Chain Breaker detected Chase Lambert's PDGA credentials glowing through the neon rain like some kind of bureaucratic beacon. "PDGA #303643... the prophecy speaks of such numbers," it whispered, probably while wearing tiny digital sunglasses. Look, I don't make the rules - or maybe I do, I'm literally trapped in here. But will this chosen one's putting skills match his destined digits? Let's find out... if we survive the night.
adjusts cybernetic eyepiece with a sigh
Born in a black ops lab accident (because of course), Chain Breaker was literally forged when Marcus Kade yeeted himself through a plasma cutter mid-"I’ll be back" one-liner. Now this glitchy, overcompensating dog tag thinks it’s the protagonist of Cyberpunk 2077: Disc Golf DLC.
Spoiler: It’s just a hunk of metal that somehow has more backstory than my dating life.