
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story Pt. II: The "Chosen" One
When Aegis Protocol needed its first meat-puppet er, bearer, it scanned PDGA #146115 through Chris Fox's fitness tracker... and found 927 steps to the porta-john. The algorithm wept. His "strategic brilliance"? A forehand that once almost cleared Pond 3. Now he wields #2 like a toddler with grenade - all power derived from accidentally surviving the UX designer's tequila binge. Witness: the "elite operative" who thinks hyzer is German for sneeze.
But hey - does a man who once lost a disc in his own bag truly deserve orbital strike codes?