
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Phantom Reckoning chose Chase Lambert during a "routine" supply drop (read: spilled coffee on the command console). As Steel Eagle's neural network glitched, his PDGA#303643 manifested as a "genetic match" for the tag's unstable glitchware - probably because he once aced a hole using a tactical sandwich as a mini marker. The kazoo encryption protocols detected his "unique qualifications": a 98% lifetime scramble rate and the ability to throw forehand through shrub-based cover. Now bonded via caffeinated nanobots, he wields this digital poltergeist that definitely won't get him demoted to latrine reconnaissance duty.
But let's be real - does a man who parks discs in actual bird nests truly deserve orbital strike privileges? 🦅💥