Rongorongo Reader
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originated from Easter Island's mysterious Rongorongo tablets, which were said to contain knowledge of ancient sea creatures. When Viking explorers brought these tablets north, the spirit within merged with local water cryptids, creating a being that could interpret both runic carvings and oceanic patterns.
Possesses translucent, wave-like skin that shimmers with runic patterns when exposed to ancient texts. Its elongated fingers can trace and interpret inscriptions without touching them, and its large, compound eyes see patterns invisible to humans. Emits low-frequency sounds that resonate with both stone and water.
Serves as the Rune Seekers' primary interpreter of ancient texts and natural phenomena related to the Kraken, translating between runic inscriptions, oceanic patterns, and cryptid behaviors.
The Rune Seekers are a group of Viking scholars, sages, and explorers who believe that the key to defeating the Kraken lies in uncovering ancient artifacts and deciphering the secrets of the runes. They prioritize knowledge, wisdom, and cunning over brute force, and their understanding of the arcane arts gives them a unique advantage in the hunt for the Kraken.
Sigrid the Wise is a renowned Viking sage and scholar who leads the Rune Seekers. With an unparalleled understanding of the runes and a keen intellect, Sigrid has dedicated her life to unraveling the mysteries of the gods and the Kraken. Her wisdom, foresight, and mastery of the arcane make her an invaluable asset in the hunt for the legendary beast.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Traitor's Sting), tag number moved from 20 to 21. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Thor's Hammer), tag number moved from 20 to 20. (Week 6 of 8)
Oh, the Rongorongo Reader—born when some over-caffeinated Viking scholar tried to decipher Easter Island’s weirdest Google Doc. Legend says it emerged from a cursed tablet after someone muttered, “It’s giving Zodiac Killer vibes.” Now it floats around, translating runes like a supernatural Rosetta Stone with commitment issues. Gods help us all.
(Yes, we’re really doing this. No, I don’t get paid enough.)
And so the Rongorongo Reader awoke from its cursed slumber, scanning the mortal realm for a worthy bearer. Lo! It spotted Britain Best (PDGA #82142, lest we forget), a man whose putting form resembled a Viking deciphering bad WiFi signals. The tag whispered: "You, who three-putt with such runic precision... shall be my vessel." As Britain pocketed it, the tag sighed—realizing it had doomed itself to a life of OB strokes and "just one more try" energy.
But seriously, can a man who throws like he's swatting midges truly wield the Reader? Only the Norse gods (and his next scorecard) will tell.