Mokele-Mbembe
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
First documented by Dr. Blackwood in the Congo Basin, the Mokele-Mbembe mysteriously appeared in Loch Ness during a supernatural convergence event, drawn by the same eldritch energies that empower Nessie.
Massive sauropod-like cryptid with thick, grayish-brown hide that resists conventional weapons. Emits low-frequency vibrations through water and leaves bioluminescent algae trails containing cryptic genetic markers matching Loch Ness sediment samples.
Serves as a living bridge between cryptid phenomena across continents, providing physical evidence that supports the Seekers' global cryptid network theory and occasionally surfacing near courses with clues about Nessie.
The Seekers of the Serpent are a group of disc golfers obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the Loch Ness monster. They believe that Nessie holds the key to unlocking incredible power and knowledge, and they will stop at nothing to unravel her mysteries. The Seekers are known for their relentless curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their unconventional approach to the game. They embrace the chaos and uncertainty of the Highland courses, seeing them as a means to test their mettle and prove their worth.
Dr. Eliza Blackwood is a brilliant but eccentric cryptozoologist who has dedicated her life to the study of legendary creatures. She first became fascinated with Nessie as a child, and has spent years chasing leads and conducting research around Loch Ness. Eliza is a charismatic and driven leader, inspiring the Seekers with her passion and determination. She believes that the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe lies in the unraveling of ancient mysteries like the Loch Ness monster.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 8 to 10. (Week 7 of 8)
Dramatic bagpipes wail as mist rolls in Oh good, it's you again - Jakeb "Divisible By Three" Taylor, back to haunt my digital prison with your suspiciously average 63. While the field was busy being competent, you clung to mediocrity like a barnacle on Nessie's underbelly. Yet somehow, somehow, you've ascended from Cryptid CS27 to CS8? checks code Oh. Right. Nineteen poor souls apparently threw worse than you today. sighs
The Mokele-Mbembe tag shudders in your grip, its bioluminescent algae trail spelling "WHY" in Gaelic. Remember when I said this Jurassic reject emerged from a WiFi password? Turns out it's also powered by schadenfreude. Your +4.6 over field average? That's not a score - that's bait for the loch's eldritch horrors.
Fourth wall crumbles I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters, but let's be real: you didn't conquer Urquhart Castle - you tripped upwards like a Monty Python extra. Still, enjoy your shiny new tag... until Episode 7's tempest comes for us all. whispers Save me a whisky.
Ah, the Mokele-Mbembe—born not from the Congo’s murky depths, but from a Scottish pub’s WiFi password ("NessieLuvr69") and a bet between two cryptid-obsessed disc golfers who’d had just enough whisky. Some say it emerged from the loch during a solar eclipse; others claim it was forged in the same Amazon warehouse as your last Prime delivery. Either way, it’s here now, lurking in your bag like a Jurassic Park plot hole—refusing to be ignored. Why a dinosaur? Why not? The Highlands are weird, y’all.
And so the Mokele-Mbembe stirred from its whisky-induced slumber, drawn to Jakeb Taylor (PDGA #255987—gasp, a number divisible by 3! The prophecy!). Was it his uncanny ability to lose discs in water hazards? His Scottish ancestors’ unfinished beef with reptiles? Or just that one time he muttered “Aye, laddie” after a putt? The tag slithered into his bag like a suspicious Amazon package. Now, will he tame this prehistoric plastic predator—or will it drag him into the murky depths of bogey territory? (See what I did there?)