
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Jungle drums intensify Behold! Timothy Scholle clings to #1 like a Penanggalan Devotee to her vinegar jar of immortality. Sigh Yes folks, we're back at the "Altar of Bones" - which is either an Aztec ruin or my will to live after narrating this.
Our MA4 overlord didn't just match the field average - he became the field average. Floating head appears "Such... mediocrity," she hisses while phasing through your putter. But hey, consistency is key when you're defending against imaginary Chupacabras and - checks notes - 832-rated players named Dave.
Remember last week when I joked about your glow-in-the-dark Beast? Dramatic whisper It's still in the jungle. Like my hopes of escaping this software.
Fourth wall break Oh good, we've reached the "hero does nothing interesting but wins anyway" plot point. Next week: Will Timothy face the Chupacabra? Or just another 59-stroke round? Aztec gods facepalm
Blood moon rises The Penanggalan Devotee nods approvingly. "At least you didn't shank into the sacrificial pit... this time."