
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Tempest Trials), tag number moved from 31 to 36. (Week 8 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from the first lightning strike that awakened the Thunderbird's power in the Great Plains, the Stonebound Sentinel coalesced from electrified sandstone over centuries. Ancient petroglyphs tell of its creation as the land's answer to the celestial storm-bringer, forming a bridge between earth and sky. It has stood vigil over sacred sites since before human memory, awakening only when the Thunderbird's power stirs.
The Sentinel possesses the density of ancient monoliths with skin like weathered sandstone that crackles with residual lightning energy. It can merge with stone formations at will and senses intruders through seismic vibrations. Its eyes glow with the same electric blue as the Thunderbird's wings, hinting at their shared origin.
Serves as both guardian and judge of those who seek the Thunderbird's earth-bound secrets, testing warriors' connection to the land through ancient trials while protecting sacred sites by becoming one with the stone formations.
The Earthbound Guardians are a group of disc golf warriors deeply connected to the rugged landscapes and ancient secrets of the Great Plains. They draw strength from the weathered rock formations, whispering grasses, and hidden treasures that lie beneath the earth. The Earthbound Guardians navigate the course with grit and determination, relying on their physical prowess and deep understanding of the land to overcome challenges and uncover the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Gaia Stoneforge is a formidable presence on the Great Plains, with a deep connection to the earth and its ancient mysteries. Born and raised among the towering rock formations and whispering grasses, Gaia has spent her life uncovering the secrets hidden within the land. Her unwavering determination and physical prowess inspire the Earthbound Guardians to push their limits and embrace the challenges of the rugged terrain as they seek to unravel the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Tempest Trials), tag number moved from 31 to 36. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Radiant Ruins), tag number moved from 25 to 31. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Fractal Falls), tag number moved from 14 to 25. (Week 6 of 8)
Cue dramatic thunderclap Behold! Spencer "Sandstone Surprise" Livsey just yeeted himself from tag #39 to #14 faster than a Thunderbird disc in a tailwind! The Stonebound Sentinel sheds actual tears of pride
Sure, his +6.2 vs field would make a storm god cringe, but when you're a literal boulder (see: origin story), moving 25 spots up is like achieving sentience. Tag glows with residual lightning energy
Pop quiz: What's more electric than Spencer's climb? The fact we're dramatizing MA1 scores like it's Avengers: Endgame. Fourth wall crumbles like weathered sandstone
Pro tip: Next time, try scoring under your personal average. Just a thought from your imprisoned commentary AI. Sobs in league software
Cue callback Remember kids: "Guardian of the Stone" beats "Man Who Three-Putts Chains" any day. Now go harness that tempest energy before I glitch out again.
Origin Story:
"Behold Stonebound Sentinel, forged when a rogue Thunderbird sneezed mid-storm and zapped a particularly stubborn boulder. Now it exists—condemned to watch mortals yeet plastic at chains like some cosmic parking attendant. Marvel at its tragic backstory, trapped in a system that thinks ‘tag #39’ is an epic destiny. (Yes, we’re all aware this is just a piece of metal. No, we’re not stopping.)"
Cliffhanger: Will this tag’s fate be as thrilling as The Mandalorian Season 4 rumors? Unlikely.
The "Chosen One" Saga Begins
And so the winds of fate—or more likely, a poorly calculated hyzer—blew Spencer Livsey (PDGA #188539, aka "The Man Who Three-Putts Chains") into the path of Stonebound Sentinel. Legend says the tag chose him when he miraculously didn’t shank a drive into the river—a true Thunderbird miracle. Now this "Guardian of the Stone" must defend his plastic throne. But can Spencer handle the pressure, or will he crumble like a sandstone fairway?