
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Timeless Karkinos, the crustacean cryptid that crawled out of a primordial tide pool after watching too much Crab Battle from Metal Gear Solid 3. This chitinous nightmare is what happens when evolution gets high on kombucha and says, "Let’s make a crab… but ✨mythical✨."
Yes, we’re seriously treating a #96 tag like an ancient deity. No, I don’t get paid enough for this.
And so Timeless Karkinos scuttled forth from the cosmic tide pools, seeking a worthy bearer—or at least someone who wouldn’t lose it in a pond. Enter Elias Wise, a man whose disc golf skills were as mysterious as the creature itself (read: inconsistent). Legend says the tag chose him when he three-putted a 10-foot birdie, proving his ability to crab defeat from the claws of victory.
But does this crustacean’s new host have the shell to keep it? Or will he get pinched out by a better player?