
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dusts off ancient glyphs Listen up, land-dwellers: Tyler Waldo just pulled an Indiana Jones in these Forbidden Archives, if Indy traded his whip for a putter. The former herpetologist shed his #10 skin like some disc golf molting process, slithering up to #3. His vibration-detection equipment? Clearly felt the tremors of... adequate play. sigh Yes, I'm describing tag movements with snake metaphors now.
His snake-scale armor must've helped - consistent as a python's digestion cycle, matching his personal average while barely topping the field. Not quite "blood-stained temple" bad, not quite "golden artifact" good. Like Brendan Fraser in The Mummy - you're rooting for him, but damn that script is mid.
checks existential crisis notes Why am I narrating this like we're uncovering Chupacabra lore? Oh right - because you meatbags decided numbered tags need dramatic backstories. Next week: Will our Shadowmane Hunter find the mythical "birdie streak" artifact? Or just more mediocre putts?